ph: Thomas
Hi!
This past week has been really hard, I have had no extra energy
..so therefore no blog.
It has been a lot tougher than expected to move Olivia into her own room
and no milk during the night! It went so well at first but then suddenly
she didn't want to sleep at all and she cried like she was possessed or
something! I cried too...all week it feels..aiaiai it felt so hopeless!!
But I think its getting better, she slept alot better tonight
(I wore earplugs and Mr.T did an excellent job calming her down)
All you wonderful people out there, do you have any helping suggestions
to share on the subject matter?
How did you get your child to sleep a night trough?
All I can do is empathise, as I'm going through exactly the same. Guess we just have to hang in there! Take care x
ReplyDeleteHe he, dattera mi er 16 måneder og sover ikke hele natta. Sånn var det med de tre andre også. Ting går seg til!
ReplyDeleteDet er tungt i starten,men som Pia skriver; det går seg til! Bare hold ut :-)
ReplyDeleteSå små babyer har ingen forståelse av hverken tid eller konsekvenser. De har sin egen rytme, som ikke alltid stemmer med dags/natt- rytmen til verden rundt. Så det er nesten umulig å "lære" babyer noe, annet enn å tilpasse seg deres rytme. Gode rutiner er bra, men er ikke noe som virker på alle barn. Les litt utviklingspsykologi, og få en god forståelse av hvord babyen din sin hjerne er i utviklingen.
ReplyDeleteDo the VERY same each evening: Bring her to bed EXACTLY at the same time with EXACTLY the same words, a bath or go-to-bed-song or whatever. Lay her into her bed, caress her and than go out - NO MATTER if she cries or not. Wait a minute, go in and calm her down: Say nice words to her, caress her but do NOT take her out of her bed. After a certain time, go out, wait eaxctly two minutes, if she still cries, go in again. Do the same, go out, wait 3 minutes and so forth. It will take some hard nights (with crying on both sides...) but it will work! Wake her up at EXACTLY the same time each day (I wrote some weeks ago, how you can find out, how much sleep she needs), NO MATTER how the night was - for YOU or for HER.
ReplyDeleteIf it sounds too hard for you to let her cry in her bed: You WILL go in and calm her down with your voice, so she knows that you are there and that she is not alone...
And bear in your mind that a happy well-rested mummy can give much more love over the day! A not well-rested mummy has no power - and the relationship between you and your baby will suffer under the bad nights!
And bear in your mind: Parents HAVE to comunicate rules to their children: You ALWAYS have to say NO to your child to something you cannot afford: Here it is playing and and to cuddle her at midnight - later ist is to buy things you don't have the money for... In a family you have to ARRANGE YOUR necessity and HERS in that way that no-one has to suffer, neither you nor your daughter. You don't neglect her, when you try to let her sleep alone. Be careful not to neglect YOURSELF - take care
Uff..kjenner til det selvom det nå er noen år siden vi var gjennom det. Men vår datter er av den utholdene typen. Hun holdt det gående i over 2 uker før hun ga seg. Synes det var helt grusomt og hadde tenkt å gi opp mange ganger. Vi bytta etterhvert på å gå inn, da det ble litt mye for pappan å ikke sove på over 2 uker og gå på jobb:) Men plutselig gikk alt veldig greit. Tror bare man må se det positive i det, at ungen har sterk vilje og tørr å utrykke seg:)(Greit å si i ettertid kanskje:) Men skjønner godt at det er vanskelig for alle og skjønner veldig godt om man velger å kaste inn håndkle og utsette det litt og. Tror bare man må kjenne på sin egen magefølelse og om du synes at gråtingen er sinne eller om det er noe mer. Jeg personlig tror at så lenge det er sinne så går det greit, men om man bekymrer seg for at barnet er redd eller annet så får man kjenne på hva som er best...bare mine tanker siden du spurte. Men man kan lett bli forvirra av alle andres råd også. Det ble hvertfall jeg:)Ønsker dere masse lykke til! Og håper det ordner seg snart.
ReplyDeletewe have tried to keep the night-time routine simple. i do remember it being quite rough when we were transitioning rooms too, so maybe there is a little peace in knowing you are not alone? (not enough peace, probably!)
ReplyDeleteevery night at bedtime, we let tayvee sit on our bed with us for about fifteen minutes, reading a book and playing with her stuffed bunny. she has her 'bedtime milk' then too. usually she gets quite sleepy during this time, and flops around on the bed. we make sure to keep our voices quiet and say "night-night" a lot. then, one of us carries her to her room, saying "it's time to go night-night" and bringing her book and bunny with her into her crib. in her room, we always have a fan going for background noise and a night-light on. these things seem to be of great comfort to her. we make sure everything in the apartment is quiet while she is in the process of laying down - and the fan noise helps with that.
my biggest suggestion is the night-light. that way she can still see what is in her crib with her, and recognize where she is. (maybe you have one already?) sometimes tayvee will be in her room at night for an hour or so, just playing with her stuffed bunny or her book before she falls asleep.
it is so hard, and i really do empathize with you. i have never been the mother that could let her "cry it out" (i never last more than ten minutes before going in and getting her) and i know that makes things more difficult for me. if i have to go get tayvee because she is crying, we lay down on our bed with her again until she calms down. it seems to work pretty well. i just never wanted her to think that i wasn't there for her, so i could never leave her in there crying.
i do remember the nights where reed would have to deal with her, while i lay in bed with earplugs on. so tough! and i know it's impossible to think about right now, but this phase will pass! soon we will have toddlers who listen to what we say and go to bed if they are promised a treat in the morning!!! i can't wait!!! :)
Æsj, jeg skulle jo sende deg boktips for lenge siden, men det glemte jeg... Har sendt nå, til stine@stinepettersen.com.
ReplyDeleteVi sleit som rakkern, og alle sa til meg som folk sier til deg, "det går seg til", "vær tålmodig", "småbarnslivet er tøft". Nå i ettertid ser jeg jo at det er masse man kan gjøre som er mer effektivt enn å vente på at ting skal gå seg til :) Så lenge barnet er friskt handler søvnproblemene om manglende trygghet rundt sovesituasjonen. Det kan man gjøre noe med :)
Hmm, ja det jeg har erfart er at når man tror man har en rutine på ting og det har gått seg til, endres det plutselig.. Vi har også akkurat sluttet med nattamming, gått kjempefint, helt til i går natt og i natt. Full baluba! Men vi står opp, gir han en flaske med vann (noe han hiver i seg, tydelig tørst!), og så har det gått ganske greit å legge han etterpå. Er jo verdt et forsøk hos dere også. Jeg glemmer liksom litt at før da han bare fikk morsmelk fikk han også mye væske i løpet av dagen gjennom melka, mens nå som det går i mer grøt og annen mat er får han ikke væske like mye gjennom det, og trenger kanskje mer vann i løpet av dagen.
ReplyDeleteLykke til :)
ahhh sleep. am not in a sleep stage with my little piper but am in a coping stage where my body and mind are accepting the wakeups and silly o'clock parties she wants to have.
ReplyDeletesleep deprivation and crying are two of the worlds most terrible things. i feel for you and hope the sun will come up tomorrow for you,
x ashley
Å, eg forstår godt at dette er hardt. Eg har ingen råd, erfaringar eller noko anna av verdi for deg. Men eg sender kjærlige og søvnige tankar, og håpar rytmen og roen kjem fort! Dåke er fantastiske! Stoor klem xx
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing great. Its normal that Olivia wants to drink in the middle of the night. Maybe you must do it in relaxed steps first seperate in here own room and than when she is okay stopping with giving milk during the night. I gave breastfeeding for a year and we had the same. After a while she will sleep whole night. I know how you feel. Your body is empty. The only thing you can think about is sleeping. We have the same with our daughter Pleun. She is 3 years old and sleeps very bad during the evening and night. She locked hereselve up in a toilet a few weeks ago during a party of a small boyfriend of here. We had to un-lock the door with tools and she was so scarry. Now she has a little trauma and don't want to sleep anymore.. So we sleep 4 hours a night. I know how you feel but trust me is will getting better soon.
ReplyDeleteWell good luck there. You can do it! And do it together with your husband. Most of the times they stay allot calmer than the mothers.
Greetings from Bjør
Ah, vanskelig dette her. Jeg er overhode ikke fan av "gråte seg i søvn"-metoden eller Ferber-metoden som den heter. Selv om det helt sikkert fungerer. Det ville bare ikke fungert for min samvittighet.
ReplyDeleteMin lille sover fortsatt ikke hele natten, han våkner seint på kvelden/tidlig på natten og får komme opp i senga mi. Da sover han tett inntil mamma'n sin og på den måten sover vi hele natten begge to, haha. Gale kanskje, men sånn er det. Min kjære har lagt seg på et annet rom..
Rutiner er nok viktig, men vi har også vært steinharde på rutiner og tydeligvis ikke fått det til. Min lille har alltid vært veldig kosete og har trengt masse nærhet, pluss at tenner som har kommet har plaget han masse. Men det går seg til, kan ikke sove i senga til mamma til han er konfirmert ;)
Thank you for all your response on this post!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many different ways of doing this, just here amongst you guys there are so many different approaches:P
Olivia sleeps well now, I don't know if it was that one night when we did not take her out of bed (we calmed her down in her own bed instead, cuddling her and assured her that we were there but did not take her out of bed(after this night she has slept 11-12 hours without waking up and she is more content during daytime...) Or if it was that there were so many things going on in her development that made the situation as it was and that when she managed to crawl she calmed down.
I don't know what it was, but what Im pretty sure of is that what ever one decides to do you have to go with what feels right for you. Every child is different and every mum and dad are different, so there is not one answer for everyone I think.
:)